According to sexual slang, "salad tossing" = anilingus = eating ass.
If I haven't made it painfully clear by now -- I love tossing me some salad;
I love doing it (as long as the salad has been freshly washed).
And I love having it done to me.
(Just don't pull it so wide open that you'll rip my soft tissue, asshole. There's enough there for everyone. Trust.)
This posting is NOT about that.
Sorry.
It is about sex play with ACTUAL vegetables.
What is it about vegetables that propels one to bring them to a sex party?And more specifically, MY party?
Here are some photos I recently took of vegetables left at the space by patrons!
They were probably left by the same person, since this hasn't happened in years, and certainly not two in the same night.
They were found on opposite ends of the place space, next to or under beds.Yes, people leave behind fanny packs with a supply of condoms and lube. They leave behind flip flops and bottles of poppers. They leave half-used packs of cigarettes, bottles of wine and beer. And of course dozens or pairs of underwear...
But vegetables?
Covered in a condom?!!
It you think about it, it kinda makes sense: in these economically depressed times to spend 69 cents on a cucumber instead of $64 on a Jeff Stryker Realistic Penis. It makes cents. Even DOLLARS!
VERSUS...
What if you splurged on Stryker realness, but just don't feel up to his challenge?
What if all you need is a small-ish red potato...
There's such a variety of sizes and shapes at your local grocer or Farmer's Market to accommodate whatever mood you're in. And all at very affordable prices! Most are already smooth and with the addition of a condom and some lube make the perfect partner for pleasure.
And if you're at a party and have a group of people to watch or assist, all the better!
Afterward, the condom can be removed, the vegetable can be washed (optional) and sliced, heated and served for dinner!
Seriously, why put a good zucchini to waste when it'd go perfect with Sunday's turkey roast with the family?
So avoid the sex toy money pit: I ask you to consider sex with Mother Nature and buy according to your mood and budget: string bean or butternut squash? Organic or genetically modified for robust pleasure?
And have a great Thanksgiving!
