This past weekend seemed to mark a new chapter in hosting sex parties for me: the addition of a legitimate hospital-affiliated doctor on hand to test people for HIV and other STDs. The good news is that a lot of people were interested and wanted testing, the bad news was that the sexy Greek doctor (with able-bodied hot assistant) had limited resources and time, so we had to turn away several people who wanted the free testing. But the doctor will return and I suggested people leave their name on a list next time they arrive, so they can be accommodated.
Being that these get-togethers happen in a private residence, it didn't initially seem a natural fit to bring in someone so official; this is a household, not a commercial space. The doctor had been in touch with me years earlier, but I wasn't interested -- not wanting someone taking up party space and making people feel awkward. And what a sexual buzz kill: to just find out you're HIV positive -- Wheee! (In reality, most people get tested on their way out.)
But the more adamant I became about safe sex and HIV prevention -- with my "zero tolerance for barebacking" and kicking people out if they're caught, with announcements reminding them of the policy -- I realized the doctor and I had similar goals: encouraging safe sex and preventing people from getting HIV.
We even had a dinner a few months ago to discuss matters (which included a delicious bottle of sake)!
So I cleared out an alcove adjacent to the residential space's outside door (which meant we had to haul a car engine to the landlord's home upstate, requiring we build a ramp just to get it into his SUV!) A curtain was drawn back, a light was installed and a table and chair were put in place. With the alcove cleared and everything set in place, the doctor (+1) and his 8 1/2 x 11" black and white signs promoting "free testing" were visible to everyone as they came in or left the building. It was as if I had created a home for a psychic or tarot card reader: ready to predict someone's sexual destiny (via lab results). The stage was set.
But the occult alcove was not where the testing/questions were to take place. I got permission from the landlord for the doctor and his assistant to use another area of the building for taking blood and doing all the paperwork that the process requires, depending on how much the patient wants to do. And if necessary, have the ability to do one person in a kitchen area as another was finishing up his testing in the relatively spacious bathroom (which ended up happening.)
It felt right, though, that I should be the first person to be tested, sort of the guinea pig for the location, so I could let all the other guys know what it was like and what the options were. And that it was a positive, convenient and valuable service for us to have.
So I filled out the forms, gave blood, pissed in a cup, had my mouth swabbed and last but certainly not least, two separate Q-tips up my ass for some cultures (not pleasant, but certainly smaller in diameter than something that was up there later in the evening.) The doctor also asked questions about my sexual activity, mostly in the last 90 days -- like how many partners I had, what we did and things like that.
At the end of my testing and questioning (about 25 minutes later) it was revealed that I was indeed still HIV negative. (Yay! I'm glad I use condoms for fucking!) And that the remainder of the test results would come back in about 10 days, via a secured email link.
So I went to the party space downstairs and made an announcement -- letting the guys know the tests were free and confidential (you have to give your name) and not anonymous (where you'd be assigned a number.) Sure enough the boys responded enthusiastically, keeping the doctor busy for the remainder of the evening.
As it ended up, he'll be back in one month (this is not a one-shot deal -- this is ongoing) for our next party, unless some of the other promoters want him for their events. All in all, I feel it was a great success and a step in the right direction on how a safe party should be run: testing plus monitoring for safe behavior. How cool is that? It's like we're watching out for each others' health and safety.
And on that note, let me share a quick anecdote a regular patron shared with me on Saturday night after he got tested by the doctor.
He always uses condoms for fucking. Always. And he also has a weakness for hairy asses. About a year ago he was playing with a bottom who was insisting he not use a condom (at MY space, the nerve!) The condom was in reach, but the bottom was persistent and that hairy ass really spoke to my friend in ways that only a hairy ass can. So in the fog of desire he decided to bareback the guy, something he hadn't done in decades. It was that tempting. The hairy ass was worth the risk. And just as he was about to penetrate the pernicious bottom, yours truly showed up on the scene and said, "You're gonna use a condom to do that, right?" completely breaking the mood and snapping him back into reality. The urge to bareback had left and he continued on with the hairy-assed man, using a condom as I had insisted.
And for interrupting him as I did, a year or so later, he thanked me.
And said I saved his life.
Over dramatic?
Maybe.
But it certainly made me feel I'm doing something right!
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