The Finger Swipe

Dare I say my faith in sex parties has been restored?!

After 2 1/2 weeks in Spain, it felt like hosting sex parties was just too much, something to move on from. Time once again to find a real job. I was living in a time zone six hours later, my body had not adjusted and I knew it was going to be a challenge to stay up until 5 or 6 in the morning to host the party. Yes, I had some Coca Cola and Little Debbie Treats to keep the energy up, but more importantly, something happened that completely changed my attitude about what can happen at a sex party and why I've always liked them: I was invigorated by meeting someone new and connecting in a passionate way! It was also nice to be distracted from my own malaise, by becoming fixated on his ass.

Before that happened though, I'd become so tired of parties I'd have preferred to take a nap and let someone else take over. But that's not how it works. I have a job to do. I took off my manager t-shirt that literally says "Quality Sex Observer" and decided to walk around naked. That's always a way to get things going and get my tired old blood circulating (well the "circulation" seems to only stay in one area).
As I checked in on the fornicating couples, making sure they were using condoms, I established eye contact with a young (30-ish) hottie and brushed my hand against his ample ass, then moved to an adjacent room. He followed.
Upon closer inspection his ass was just right -- like Goldilocks finding which bed was perfect for her. Not too big, not too small, not too hairy. This is the soft, but firm pillow I can rest my head on for many nights to come -- and eat like porridge in the morning. (Salad tossing? Please. Whoever came up with that slang term never had a solid main course of ass. And I don't mean shit!)

You must always do the absolutely essential "FINGER SWIPE," before having a meal, though. Here's the protocol: while hugging your partner, move your hand down, feel their bare ass and gently swipe the right index finger (left if you're left handed) through the crack, as though grazing a white cotton gloved finger across a luminous ebony Steinway to check for dust. Only you're checking for scent. Any scent. Then raise both arms up to give your partner a hug around their neck and turn your head to the same side that matches the hand that did the swipe. (Your right hand would now be on the left, so turn your head to the left.) Discretely -- and this is the most important part -- lift the just-probing-finger to the nose and inhale.
Smells good? Yay. Big hug. Time for dinner.
Smells bad? Well... it depends what you're into...

The shape of the butt is very important while standing -- that it curves out on the top side of the ass, not just the underside -- but the most important aspect is how it appears and opens up when they are bent over. (A popular gogo boy I played with has the ass of death, but when he bends over, there's so much flesh and muscle that your tongue can't even get to the hole! Or maybe he just wasn't bending over far enough.)
There needs to be access to pink. I want mucous membrane! And no hard bumps. No soft bumps. No bizarre fleshy things. Nothing dangling from adjacent errant hairs.

And if they pass inspection? Meal time -- if they're into it. Shockingly not all people like to have their asses eaten. And my whisker stubble has created some unwanted abrasions I'm sure. But if they are into it, find a comfortable place where the ass can be put on display and properly consumed. There's nothing worse than cranking your neck out of joint to access someone standing upright as you sit crouched on a dirty floor!